As a Human
by MarieAlexander
Summary: "My theory is that a Soul can change his or her body make-up into that of their host because of the unique biological qualities we possess. Standing here with me is Wanderer, who will be the first test subject in this experiment"
1. The Wish

"You never searched. You stayed with him," It was half a comment, half an accusation as Wanderer stared at her, trying to understand the relationship between the Comforter and her husband. Watching her Comforter twist her wedding ring around her finger, Wanderer realized that this was not part of how a Comforter usually helps a Soul settle into their new host.

"At first we stayed together for the mission. Then when it was over, well, neither of us wanted to move on." The Comforter gave her a small smile, her eyes warm. So many emotions in that one smile: comfort, sadness, happiness, pity, all of it in one smile. Humans are so complex. How? How was it possible that simple, small manipulations of the facial features could exude so many feelings?

"Humans never really figured it out. Love. How much of it is physical, chemical, emotional." She stopped, staring past Wanderer's shoulder, her eyes moving as if all the answers were written on the window. "It just...is. Once it is there, it no longer matters why or how, simply that it is." Her eyes turned back to her, full of compassion and love for the man she would go home to. They flashed in light of a car passing by, a silver flare of light that separated the Souls from the Humans.

Wanderer ran.

She leaped out of the chair, bursting through the doors between her and the world beyond. She ran to get away. To fight the realization that perhaps Souls aren't capable of the love humans are full of. That all of it is nothing but left-over feelings the human hosts left behind. She woke up each night crying for the loss of her host's lover. Her Comforter never moved on from her host's husband. How could she even think of searching for love outside of Jared?

People must have thought it odd; seeing a woman running with tears streaming down her face. They would simply assume she was new to her host body, not used to all the potent emotions, the spectrum of feelings found nowhere else in the universe, in the galaxy, anywhere. Only there, only on Earth and most of them didn't even know it. It was their first planet, or maybe their second, or if an individual or two was adventurous perhaps even third. But she had been to eight. _Eight_.

She was strong enough to know that running was not weakness on her part. Truth only made a person stronger, but it hurt and that was where self-preservation kicked in. The evening air streamed passed her, reminding her of so many memories Melanie had of running. In fear or in exhilaration. Alone or accompanied. This time Melanie's body ran possessed. Wanderer sobbed, her lungs burning in her chest.

She halted abruptly, clutching her head in agony as memories flooded her mind.

The dam had been opened; the wall separating her from Melanie's memories had been unlocked.

She could see it all, feel it all, all the memories that weren't her own.

She stumbled, unseeing, until her fingertips jabbed into the rough bark of a tree. Sliding down she curled between its protruding roots as Melanie forced her to see everything. The life that was once hers. Wanderer would not betray her, that much Melanie knew. As crazy as it sounded, Melanie trusted her parasite. (The sudden change from Wanderer's point of view to Melanie's is disorienting. Is it possible to smooth it out a little or just get rid of it?)

It was fully dark by the time Wanderer opened her eyes, the sounds of the night on her ears. Never had she felt so much like a leech. All the foreign memories seemed so intimately a part of her.

_But they aren't. They are my memories, my life Wanderer. Not yours._

She looked around, wiping the tears from her cheeks and the snot from her lip. Her miserable eyes met the playground several blocks from her residence. The five swings swayed gently in the night's wind. She could almost see in her mind the children playing on the jungle gym only a few yards beyond them. Sliding down the slide, climbing on top of the tunnel rather than going through it… no Soul child would do that. They would either be miniature adults or too obedient to do such a recklessly dangerous thing. They would have to be human children. Filled with a joy no Soul could possess because there were no previous memories. Every Soul carried some memory from their mother, no information was ever lost. There would be no innocent discoveries of a mind not fully developed. If she had any tears left she would've let them fall for the children who would never be.

_Like mine._

Wanderer stood and walked towards the abandoned playground, drawn to the swings. The hinges creaked at her when she sat on the yellow plastic, signaling as to how long it had been since they were oiled. Wanderer sat and thought about all of her children. The ones she could give birth, but never raise. The little parasites. She cringed. How she wished she could love and be loved. To have a ring on her finger and carry a child in her own human womb, to hold that tiny baby as it cried in the middle of the night in need of comfort. How she wished she could be human.

"But you're not, Wanderer," she whispered to herself. "You are not human, you are an alien that has stolen the life of a human being. The most wonderful and terrifying living thing in all of creation."

Melanie's sympathetic despair was thinly veiled by enmity as Wanderer spoke. And something else.

"What Melanie? What is it?" Wanderer whispered.

_Respect._

Wanderer blinked before probing further.

Melanie continued before she got too far. Y_ou've lived so many lives. We've got a saying here on earth: "you can't teach an old dog new tricks._ She gave a huff of laughter. _You though, you are able to look outside of all you've ever known. 'Course it would've been so much better if you hadn't had to take everything from me to realized all that._

"I'm sorry Melanie, truly. But there is no way-"

Melanie interrupted her, _I know, I know. But…_

"Yeah," Wanderer sighed.

…_Well, I would like you even better if you hadn't cut my hair._

Wanderer simultaneously smiled and winced, reacting to the tease in Melanie's tone. "I'm not sure whether or not to be sorry about that. You can be pretty annoying sometimes." She looked up at the night sky, partially diluted by the city's haze of chemicals and light. The Spiders were working on the effects of pollution on the earth that had accumulated when the humans had control over the planet. It was still bright enough to see the shooting star as it sailed across the sky.

_So who gets the wish?_

"Well, I think we both know what you would wish for." Images of Jared and Jamie flashed through their mind. "And I think I wish for the same thing, so both of us?"

_You have your own wish Wanderer._

She looked at the little pebbles under her as she made the swings hinges squeak before staring again at the night sky. The moon was just where is should be, sitting there among the stars.

"I wish I were human. I wish I were the monster in a Soul's horror stories, the one that would rather be killed than give up what they are. I wish I could experience life as a human and give you back yours."

The winds blew her short hair around her face, the mild night quiet.

_Does that count as only one wish?_


	2. Dave

Wanderer couldn't help it, she laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

_You do know it wasn't really that funny right? _Melanie asked, humor coating her voice.

"Yeah…I…know." She gasped.

_I suppose laughter is good for the 'Soul', if you don't mind my pun._

"I…can't….breath." And she promptly fell out of the swing.

"Miss? Miss are you alright?" A worried and well-meaning voice asked.

_Uh-oh. _Melanie winced.

Wanderer blushed bright red as she looked up at the man who came towards her. He was middle aged man whose host had been a worrier, if the wrinkles on his face were any indication. She stood up, all the laughter gone.

"I-I'm fine," she stammered. "I was- um, I was just remembering a funny joke," she lied. Horribly.

"Oh, alright." The man smiled, oblivious to the obvious lie. "I saw you there on the ground and thought something terrible had happened. There are still humans out there you know." He looked around nervously. "You never know when they might pop up."

Huh, well it seems that the Soul was just as much a worrier as his host had been. Interesting.

_Still humans? As in plural? Information, Wanderer! Get this guy talking! _Melanie instructed her_._

_All other reports say humans are no longer a problem, Melanie. _Wanderer replied silently._ This guy is probably just paranoid._

_Jeb was 'just' paranoid too. _Melanie pointed out_._

Wanderer conceded to that point.

"What makes you think humans are still out there, sir?" Wanderer asked the man.

"Why don't we get moving? I don't like standing out here in the dark. Can I walk you home?" the man asked.

_You know, growing up this would've been about the time I said no, walked away, and glanced over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following me. _Melanie commented.

_We have no reason to fear, Melanie._

_Yeah, I know._

"Yes, I think that would be the smartest thing to do." She smiled down at the man since he was about an inch shorter than her.

"I'll follow you then and tell you what I know."

They started off, Wanderer walking slowly since her place wasn't that far away. Souls were supposed to be very social creatures she knew, but she still didn't like inviting people into her dwelling. It was probably because of the comments Melanie was constantly making about people while she was trying to have a conversation with them. Wanderer gave that last thought a push towards Melanie, who at the moment was wondering if the man was wearing a toupee.

Melanie ignored her.

"I'm Dave, by the way," the man told her, holding out his hand.

Wanderer took it and shook it once. "Wanderer."

"Wanderer? As in nine planets, Rides the Beast, Wanderer?" Dave asked, excitement and wonder in his face.

She was taken aback. "Well, yes. How do you know about me?" she asked, shocked.

"My wife is one of your students and I am a teacher at the high school level. The Bear you saved that day from the Claw Beast was among the first to come to this planet. He is a Storyteller now and wrote a book about his time as a Bear, in which you were featured. Wonderful story!" he replied.

Wanderer nodded uneasily, unsure what to think about it. She didn't like being so famous, she was no one special. That day the guide had been the true hero, sacrificing himself so she and her friend could get away.

_Humans! _Melanie reminded her._ We can think about the rest some other time._

Right, Wanderer thought. Stay focused. "So you mentioned that humans were still on the loose. I thought the Seekers had already found all of them. Surely we would be warned if it weren't so," She said, curious as to how Dave would respond.

"That I did," Dave said. "You see, my daughter is a Seeker and only one month ago she said a human was found in Oregon. She was almost completely starved to death and was unable to run away from the Seekers when they found her, but she was there. How many more could be out there without our knowledge? The cases of humans being found are too few and far between to garner any real attention, especially now that no adult humans found will be used as hosts."

"Wait, what? What do you mean about adult humans no longer being taken as hosts?" Images of Jared and Jamie passed between Melanie and Wanderer.

"Apparently, if an adult human knows about Souls before they are taken as hosts they _don't disappear._" He told her. Wanderer didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the tone of his voice. He sounded so shocked, even scandalized at the thought of humans living on inside of their body after a Soul had been implanted. "Because of this the Healers have come to the conclusion that it is too dangerous to put a Soul in a captured adult human."

"But what happens to the human once they are caught?" Wanderer asked, knowing she wasn't going to like the answer.

"A Seeker is placed inside of them to try to get some answers, you know, are there more of them, how did they survive, and so on. But whether or not the Seeker can get the answers the human will be disposed of." Dave stated matter of fact.

A chill spread up Wanderer's spine and she could feel the blood drain from her face.

_Jared, Jamie! _Melanie cried._ What if they're caught?_

Wanderer looked up and was relieved to find them only a few feet from her house.

"Here we are. Thank you for walking me home," she said with a forced smile on her face.

Dave smiled at her and said, "My pleasure. Stay indoors at night, will you? It is much safer." Wanderer just tilted her head in what could be a small nod. He smiled again and continued walking.

_If he is so paranoid why was he out alone at night? _Melanie asked, suddenly suspicious_._

The door opened with a squeak. Wanderer ignored it, a squeaky door was not even on her radar of important things to think about.

"He was walking back the way we came Melanie. He probably was going back to his car."

Melanie harrumphed in reply.

Thinking back to her discussion with the Comforter and the conversation with Dave, Wanderer collapsed on the sofa. If Melanie had done what she was supposed to do and simply disappeared, perhaps she could've gotten past Jared, found a different man to spend her life with, rather than feeling not only her longing but Melanie's for her lost love. She winced.

Melanie snorted,_ You really can't lie, not even to yourself._

"Maybe not," Wanderer murmured. "But I wouldn't have thought of Jared as solely yours, but mine as well. And I never would've questioned a Soul's ability to love. I never would've been horrified at the news that dangerous humans were being _disposed_ of, much less disgusted. That's not how a Soul is Melanie. What am I now?" She asked, her eyes staring into the dark living room unseeing.

Melanie was silent.

Taking a deep breath Wanderer stood up. She had lectures to give tomorrow, just introducing the Fire Planet before inviting in a guest speaker. Since she had skipped that planet it didn't seem right to deprive her students of a first person view of the life there.

_And you think it's preposterous, how they live on that planet, how they burn the Walking Flowers alive and eat the smoke to get the necessary nutrients they need to survive. Admit it._

"I have no experience there and therefore have no right to give any opinion either way." Wanderer could feel Melanie's urge to roll her eyes.

It was quite depressing how empty the bedroom was. Wanderer didn't bother turning on the light before changing into pajamas and climbing into bed. Then she laid there, simply staring at the ceiling. Melanie was right there with her. Night was the time of day they both hated, because at night they dreamed of Jared and Jamie, the two most important people in Melanie's life and the two people Wanderer had taken from her. And neither had any illusions that tonight wouldn't be worse than usual since Melanie had unleashed her full memories on Wanderer.

That night they dreamed. The next morning they woke sobbing.

But that morning something changed. Suddenly Wanderer was sick of it.

"Melanie?"

_Huh?_

"We're going to find them."

Melanie would've smiled, if she could. _Now where are we going to start?_


	3. Please Do Read

**A/N: I told myself I would never write an author's note (since if you actually read what we agreed to when signing up for fanfiction it specifically states "do not write author's note's". Or something like that…..But here I am. Mostly because I have already deleted and started over once before with this story and I really don't want to do that again. But I do have a few things that need to be said. **

**First: I'm an impatient kind of person and will therefore not be having my chapters checked by any beta. My previous beta, JacklynnFrost, is incredibly awesome, a good writer, and very helpful. But like I said, I'm impatient and, knowing myself, I won't get going on my story if I have to go over it fifty times. And Jack can tell you that I will go over it several times after she sends it back. I become OCD and since this is just for fun, I really don't feel like stressing over it. So bottom line, this story will not contain my best writing, though I will try my best to refrain from obvious mistakes and whatnot. **

**Second: Ties in with the first, kinda. I am completely (for the most part) making this story up as I go along, and I just recently decided to make this a crossover. Right now I'm just planning on making it a cameo appearance, but who knows? Anywho. The crossover will feature The Doctor from BBC's Doctor Who, and perhaps Amy and Rory, maybe River Song too – I haven't gotten that far. Ummm….I'm not planning to make this story a crossover unless I suddenly decide to give them more than a cameo appearance, which I'm hesitant to do at this point in time. **

**Third: Many writers make a point of putting at the top of every chapter that the characters do not belong to them. I'm not going to do that, not because I feel I hold any claim over them, but for the simple fact that I am a ****fanfiction ****writer. I'm going to assume that my readers are clever enough to know that I'm not using original characters, and really, I'm writing this particular story with the assumption that the original book has been read so my readers know which characters are in the book and which ones I made up myself. **

**Uhmmm….yeah. **

**So articulate, I know.**

**Fourth: As I said, I'm writing with the assumption that my readers have read Stephanie Meyer's original book so I will refer to stories or facts that are revealed later on in her book. The same goes for The Doctor and co. Because of this I do encourage anyone who has questions to review/pm me and I will answer to the best of my ability. Don't be shy :-)**

**I think that's all for now (hopefully forever). I am not a motivated writer, so don't expect fast updates. The story is coming together a bit more for me now, so I won't wait another six months to update though. **

**Side note: I'm not much of a fan of Twilight but for whatever reason I am quite fond of Twilight fanfiction. If you are also interested in them check out JacklynnFrost's stories. She has an amazing imagination, and as I mentioned earlier, she is quite a good writer. With some stories the summary, the idea, sounds so incredibly fascinating, but then you start reading and can't stand to continue because of the horrible writing. Not so with her stories, trust me. She's a natural. **

**12:30am.**

**Yeah, time to sleep. **

**Maybe.**

**Sigh.**

**Oh! I almost forgot! I should be posting the next (actual) chapter either tomorrow or Sunday. Stay tuned! :-)**


	4. The Call

"_Do we have to?" _Melanie whined. "_Come on! Jared and Jamie could be on a surgical table right now and you want to 'finish your responsibilities as a professor'?"_

A chill went through Wanderer at Melanie's dramatics, knowing full well that was what could be happening, but then frowned. "Melanie, you have every confidence that Jared is keeping them safe and just trying to guilt me into complete irresponsibility will not work." Wanderer huffed as she packed her one suitcase into the trunk of her car. She looked at it for a moment and wondered if she had ever meant to stay in the safe little neighborhood she had inhabited thus far. "Besides, I only have two classes I teach today and none tomorrow which means we can be on the road by dark."

She walked up the steps, back into the dark confines of the house to find the car keys she had left inside. Coming to the kitchen table she put her hands on her hips. "Okay, they were right there." She narrowed her eyes at the table, willing it to give up the secret to the location of the keys.

Mel rolled her eyes internally. "_You put them on the counter when you went into the bedroom to get the suitcase." _

"Oh," Wanderer said sheepishly. Sure enough they were only a few feet away, sitting innocently between the cordless phone and the fake plant that had been there when they moved in. She grabbed them and immediately dropped them when the phone rang, startling her.

_"Oh, what now?" _Melanie lamented.

Wanderer looked at the caller ID and scrunched her eyebrows, not recognizing the number.

_"Just let it go," _Melanie said, impatient to get on the road.

"As much as I want to that would be rude. It's not like we have telemarketers anymore," Wanderer replied. Melanie let out a growling huff.

"Hello this is Wanderer speaking," Wanderer said as she answered the phone.

**"Hello Wanderer, this is Fords Deep Waters."**

"Oh," Wanderer said in surprise, she hadn't spoken to her insertion Healer since she had left the Chicago hospital. "How are you Healer?"

**"Just fine, thank you. And yourself?" **He asked.

"Fine, thank you. It is a surprise to hear from you, what can I do for you?"

**"Well,"** he started. **"There is a scientist here in Tucson who is exhibiting his work later this week. I think you would be quite interested, given your tendency for adventure."**

Wanderer paused. What did he mean by that? "I'm not sure I am following you. And I thought you were in Chicago..."

**"I transferred here to Tucson, Arizona not too long ago. As far as the scientist goes, he is extraordinarily intelligent," **he paused before adding ruefully**, "if a bit odd." **He chuckled at some memory then cleared his throat. **"Normally it is thought that we take nothing but memories from previous planets, yes?" **

"Yes," she answered, wondering where this was going.

**"Well he is theorizing that we also take something more. I do not know all the details and he said that he will also soon reveal a theory that will shock everyone, though he has not said what that is."** Fords explained.

_Oh, __**no!**__, _Melanie exclaimed, _we are not taking the time to go see some wacky scientist speak! Jared, Jamie, remember them?_

Wanderer momentarily ignored her.

"When is his lecture?" Wanderer asked Fords.

**"He has been giving lectures on varying subjects every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday for the past several weeks, though he will be revealing his said to be shocking theory this Saturday, two days from now," **he informed her.

"Where is the lecture to be held - wait hold on while I find something to write on." Quickly Wanderer searched the kitchen, finding a pen in one of the drawers but no paper. Finally she settled for writing on her hand. "Okay sorry about that".

Fords chuckled.** "Quite alright. You ready?"**

He received a hum in reply.

**"Alright, it's being held in the auditorium of the University of Arizona in Tucson. The University is at 1200 E. University Blvd. Tucson, AZ 85721".**

"What is the professor's name?" she asked.

**"He's not actually a professor, just a guest speaker, and British to boot. Apparently he just showed up one day and told the U of A's president that he was going to be speaking**," Fords laughed.** "Oh, his name is the Doctor."**

_**The **__Doctor? _Melanie asked. _You parasites sure do have strange names. I suppose I should get used to it, being that I'm going to be stuck with ya'll for the rest of my life._

Melanie's words flooded Wanderer with guilt and left a lump in her throat. How she wished she could give Melanie her life back, but she couldn't take herself out, and any Healer would dispose of Melanie's body before she even woke up. Unless of course they decided to put a Seeker inside of her to get information from her memories. Both Wanderer and Melanie shuddered at that.

**"Do you think you will be attending then?" **Fords's voice brought Wanderer out of her brooding thoughts.

"Yes, I believe I will," she said, ignoring Melanie's groan. "Will you also be attending?"

**"I hope to," **Fords replied.** "I have already been to a few of his lectures and have found them utterly fascinating."**

"I look forward to seeing you again then," Wanderer said, truly meaning it. She had become fond of the Healer in the short time she had known him while staying in the Chicago hospital.

**"And I you. I'm afraid I must be going now, I called while on my break." **Fords said regretfully.

"Oh, I won't keep you then. I'll talk to you soon."

Both hung up after saying good-bye.

"Sorry Mel, but I would like to go to this. Besides, you once had family in Tucson right? Maybe we'll get lucky and find something there," Wanderer said, though she doubted it herself.

_Fine, whatever, _was Melanie's grudging reply. _But on the off chance we find something you will drop everything to follow the lead, right?_

"Yes, I will," Wanderer promised without hesitation, she wanted to find Jared and Jamie nearly as much as Melanie did. She glanced at the clock and gasped. "Oh! We're going to be late!"

Melanie's wordless emotions said she wouldn't mind that one bit.


	5. Intuition

The long drive to Tucson was a boring one. No matter how beautiful it can be the sight of miles and miles of desert can become mind-numbing.

_"I'm going insane," _Melanie complained.

Wanderer readjusted her sunglasses and tapped random beats on the steering wheel. "Yep, me too. I think I've see that exact cactus four times already."

_"Ha. Very funny," _Melanie grumbled.

They lapsed into silence, each in their own thoughts. Desert passed by, the sun in all its majesty shining down, baking the earth, but somehow allowing the odd plant and creature to survive.

Ten miles later Melanie spoke up, _"What does it feel like, outside a host. Can you feel anything? How do you even know when you are supposed to attach yourself to a new host?_"

Wanderer raised an eyebrow, "That's a bit random. I wouldn't think you cared".

_"Yeah, well, I'm bored," _Melanie told her.

Wanderer began to explain as best she could, "It's a really strange feeling when a Soul leaves their previous host. We can feel everything since our only sense is touch. When I'm in my true Soul form, without any host, I feel like I'm lost. There is nothing. Absolutely nothing. What I have experienced has only ever been a few seconds. But Harness Light once described to me what she had felt on the ice field. Dying inside her host or in my egg pocket she had felt everything in her body scream in agony. Every part of her. From the tips of her antenna to her very core.

"The Spiders explain it by saying that the Souls have no means of living. It is our host they say that give us the means to live. That's why when we leave a host our antenna seems to wave around. We're searching for something that will allow us to live," Wanderer paused then added, "It was strange when I was inserted into your body. I can't explain it, I just…" She trailed off and sat in silence, remembering that moment. It was a better explanation to Melanie than anything she could say.

_The tanks preserving cold was released into the lukewarm air. Something warm, hot even, cradled her form before being past to another place. She felt lost, the nothingness she had gotten used to. The agony, however she had never gotten used to. But there was something else she felt in that fleeting moment. While in the second hot place she felt a warmth that had nothing to do with what she felt with her antenna. Then she was being placed in her host, and it was gone._

Wanderer focused on Melanie, confused. Silently asking her if she knew what she had felt when she was supposed to feel only the agony.

Wanderer strained to make sense of her thoughts. They were jumbled up like a book made into confetti.

_"Well if you would stop focusing on my thoughts without helping maybe I would be able to think," _Mel grumbled_, "It's kinda hard to take in so much information and told to help put the 'book of confetti' in some sort of order. Harness Light was the one you saved by inserting her into a claw beast right? Heh, I love the name they gave you by the way. I think I've already told you that. How do remember so much from one second," _she paused for a breath, _"actually don't answer that. There are definitely certain seconds in my memory," _memories containing of trails of fire on her skin accompanied that particular thought, _"But anyways…."_

There was a gap in her ramblings. A tiny one when she stopped fantasizing.

Incredulous, Wanderer stated, "You think I, in my Soul form, have intuition? That's impossible. More than impossible. You humans, _you _have the ability of intuition. Like I told you before, Earth is the only planet on which I have ever felt this extra, elusive sense. That does not make sense whatsoever. Not a bit. It just –"

Mel cut her off, _"Don't get into a fit over this. I knew you wouldn't like what I thought about this," _and added sourly, "_and I also knew you'd never let it go if I were to put up a wall. Really, no it doesn't make sense. I just think what I think. I'm just thinking things through, and that's what I would name what you felt."_

"Great. This makes so much more sense now. Earth is just the most unambiguous planet I've ever been to. It's like the windows that are so clean that birds fly into them," She paused and then mumbled, "or people who aren't paying attention."

Mel laughed. She's the type of friend who could see her trip and fall down the stairs and then point and laugh.

Well, if she could that is.


	6. Trust Me

"Tell me again why we are postponing our search for Jared and Jamie in order to listen to this Soul scientist go on about his theories?" Melanie asked, already resigned to listening to some lecture on Soul philosophy as they walked through the halls of the University of Arizona.

"Fords Deep Waters said that this scientist believes we Souls take something more from our hosts than the ability to live. If that is so…maybe Souls are becoming more human. And… I need this Mel, I need to know why I want to be human" Wanderer told her quietly. She didn't like admitting weakness, even to the person who shared her mind, and to her such uncertainty was definitely weakness. "Besides, aren't you in the least bit curious?" Wanderer asked, though she already knew the answer: Melanie didn't share Wanderer's love of learning. "If there are any wild humans out there they might benefit from Souls having more human like behavior," she added.

Melanie paused. _"That disturbers you."_

It was Wanderer's turn to pause. "I've seen a lot of violence through your memories Mel," she said slowly. "How can I want that for my people?"

"_And yet you still want to be human."_ It wasn't a question.

Wanderer answered anyway. "Yes," she said, very, very quietly.

Wanderer softly stepped into the lecture hall and sat in an aisle seat in the second to back row. She had never been able to shake Melanie's wariness when entering someplace new. A man paced back and forth in front of the lecture hall, fiddling with this or that before suddenly stopping with his hands in the air as if he had forgotten something, mumbling to himself all the while.

_ "What's this guy's name again?" _Melanie asked, eyeing the strange man wearing a bowtie around his neck and a Stetson on his head. His brown wool suit jacket with patched elbows screamed professor, but the gleam in his eyes said he didn't belong in a classroom.

Wanderer looked down at the pamphlet she held. _"His name is The Doctor,"_ she thought in answer to Melanie's question.

Laughter pulled Wanderer's attention to a gingered haired woman sitting on a table to the left of the "stage". She laughed again at something the man next to her said before the Doctor shushed them with a finger to his lips. She made a face at him and crossed her arms, but fell silent. The other man looked around the lecture hall as if he were nervous; tapping his fingers against the table he was leaning against. Wanderer sat forward, studying his face. The nerves seemed appropriate for someone unused to being in front of a crowd, but there was something else. Perhaps it was that they were sitting so far back, but Wanderer would've sworn that the man's eyes looked old.

"_So what?"_ Melanie asked. _"What's so important about that? If you ask me, The Doctor's eyes look older."_

Wanderer studied him. _"Yes," _she thought slowly, _"I think you're right."_ She furrowed her brow in thought.

"_I don't normally care, but what in the world are you looking at?"_ Melanie huffed, tired of trying to rifle through Wanderer's thoughts.

It took a minute before Wanderer could answer her, thinking it over. Why did it matter? Maybe she was over-thinking things; she had seen old eyes before. It clicked. She had seen old eyes before.

"_This planet is new to us,"_ Wanderer started. _"No matter how old we are when we come here, it is still a fresh start. I constantly feel like a child, you know that."_ Melanie listened, not quite sure where this train of thought would lead. "_But I have seen old eyes in a Soul before, __**just not here on Earth."**_

"_I still don't get it,"_ Melanie admitted.

Wanderer took a deep breath. She wasn't quite sure why, considering the entire conversation was going on in her head. _"Old eyes belong to those who have lived a long life and have seen many things. Those two, they shouldn't have old eyes because it's just impossible, everything's too new."_

"_You think they're human?"_ Melanie was suddenly very present.

"I don't know," Wanderer whispered out loud. She was only among the first three attendees and neither of the other two were sitting anywhere near her so she was secure in the thought that neither one would hear her. But as soon as the words left were mouth the Doctor, the silly looking man with old, twinkling eyes, turned his gaze to her. And he smiled. Wanderer shifted uncomfortably. There was knowledge in that smile, as if he knew something about her. If it hadn't been for Melanie's sudden intensity Wanderer would have shook it off, but she trusted the girl who hadn't disappeared.

"Wanderer," a voice behind her said. Wanderer twisted around to see Fords Deep Waters walk towards her with a smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile back, even with the animosity flowing from Melanie. This man was, after all, the one who put a parasite in her body.

The Healer scooted past Wanderer so she could keep the outside seat she had no intension of leaving. Melanie's paranoia at its best.

"It is good to see you Wanderer," Fords said. "How are you holding up? I know the transition to human life can be rather difficult."

Wanderer smiled at the understatement, and replied quite honestly, "It has been a challenge." Fords just looked at her for a moment, concern written in his face. Wanderer laced her fingers together to keep from fidgeting.

"_Do you think he knows?" Melanie asked._

"_I'm…I'm not sure," Wanderer replied. _It wouldn't be such a leap for him with all of the Souls he had placed in Hosts.

"Yes," Fords Deep Waters said at last. "I believe you will be very interested in what The Doctor has to say."

Wanderer had a sudden thought, one she knew she should have already wondered. "He calls himself 'The Doctor'," she said slowly, looking at the man in front who couldn't stand still. "Why would he call himself by a title we no longer use?"

Fords laughed. "I hadn't thought of that. One of his many eccentricities I suppose," he said, completely at ease with that explanation.

Wanderer and Melanie stared at the man, both wondering if that was all it was.

The Doctor turned back to his companions and spoke to the them animatedly before walking in front of the podium and flinging out his arms towards the now full auditorium's audience.

"For those of you who have not been coming to my lectures before now… shame on you. I expect better from such curious souls," he said, amused by his own pun. The redhead to his right just lifted an eyebrow at him. "Right," he said, clapping his hands together. "So, I have been teaching you lot about humanity, and the effects your human Hosts can have on you. Its something many of you Souls notice without noticing, by keeping the same job or clothes and staying with your Host's family, making it you own."

For whatever reason, possibly because The Doctor had said "your human Hosts" rather than "our human Hosts," Wanderer glanced over at The Doctor's two companions. They looked somewhat disturbed, though Wanderer couldn't understand why. They must've heard all of this before. Plus, it seemed to her like such common knowledge. Souls did not come to change, but to experience. Any changes were only for the betterment of all.

"_All except the billions of humans murdered," _Melanie said.

Right.

"As a Bat a Soul gains an appreciation for music," The Doctor continued. "As a Seeweed a love of storytelling, and so on." He spun around, clicking the over head on. "I'll direct you attention to this image of a Soul's anatomy, with all the labels and whatnot. I did it myself, by the way. The way it is traditionally explained, a Soul's body is essentially a form of brain that connects to the Host, reaching into the Host's brain to intercept his or her neural reations, and therefore the body's functions. Then comes the battle between nature and nurture, or rather nature vs nature and nurture vs nurture. The inborn nature plus he previous lives of a Soul battles against the inborn nature and upbringing of the Host. That is the traditional explanation. But I, clever as I am, am adding to that. Each new species Souls encounter have a different neural anatomy, and Souls, adaptable species you are, change your very DNA in order to connect with your Host. Which means Souls are not simply brains, but also a kind of shapeshifters. It is my theory that Souls are capable of becoming the same species as their previous Host. More or less."

A murmur that grew louder erupted amongst the audience. The auditorium chairs creaked as the science minded professors, doctors, and attentive Souls discussed this possible development. The denial was almost tangible in the air between the stiff postures and disbelieving expressions.

Melanie's thoughts were scrambled, more flavors of emotion than full thoughts. Anger, shock, disbelief, and hope converged into a muddied kaleidoscope of emotion.

"I need a volunteer," he said grandly to his audience, ignoring the chatter. An audience that, quite unlike Soul behavior, paid him little attention. "Someone willing to take a risk," he continued, swiftly glancing over the Souls in the hall and settling directly on Wanderer. "Someone who is…very interested in what I have said."

Melanie barely noticed when Wanderer, blind and deaf to the discussions around her, walked toward The Doctor. She didn't feel the jolt of each step, couldn't think beyond Melanie's reaction. Wide eyed, hands at her side, Wanderer reached the podium on instinct, stopping four feet away from The Doctor, who at that moments was distracted by the redhead.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" the redhead asked, her hands gripping the edges of the table she sat on. She wasn't worried, the redhead. More like she was asking if a plan B was necessary.

"Of course I'm sure," The Doctor said, seemingly insulted by her question. She tilted her head down, looking him in the eyes. It was a practiced look, one that implicated she knew him better than that. "Ok, maybe. Maybe it will work, if history goes to plan. See, it is a plan. I do have a plan. Sort of."

"Doctor," the other man said, looking straight at Wanderer, who stood silently, observing their interaction. She might have dwelled on their words a bit, but at that moment Melanie lifted her cloud of emotion enough for the two of them to realize the thoughts behind Wanderer's instinct, and the intensity of their combined hope and resolve forced away any curiosity. For the moment.

The Doctor spun around, but before he could let out a greeting Wanderer spoke. "How does it work? How would I be able to shift into human form?"

"You want to try," The Doctor said, smiling wide.

Wanderer looked into his old eyes. Old eyes that held some knowledge that said he already knew the answer. "I'll be your volunteer."

"Excellent," he spun around. "Come along Wanderer, you are going to love this. Come along Ponds. Don't worry ladies and gents, back in a jiffy," he called out as he walked out a back door.

Wanderer followed slowly behind the two the Doctor had called the Ponds, all the while distantly wondering how he knew her name.

Beyond the door was a laboratory of sorts, though what caught her eye was a blue phone booth standing in the corner. _"What an odd thing to have in a lab,"_ Wanderer thought. If the room had been a history classroom or a library it would've made more sense, but a science lab?

The Doctor spun around once more and started folding and refolding his hands together. "Let's get started then!" He clapped his hands before finding a chair and pulling it out. Melanie, with paranoid humor, put a picture in Wanderers head of how much this Doctor looked like a mad scientist. The Doctor came over to her and guided her to the chair.

Sitting down Wanderer asked the first thing that came to mind, "How do you know my name?"

"Ah, well," the Doctor said. "That doesn't matter. What does matter is that you, Wanderer, are going to change the world!" He said excitedly, as if his words erased the question. "See, plan A." The Doctor said aside to his companions with pride.

Wanderer crossed her arms and opened her mouth, but before she could get a word out the Doctor started talking a mile a minute. "This theory of mine, actually it's not a theory it's fact but you don't know that, so! This theory of mine is, like I said, is that the Hosts of Souls actually imprint their DNA into the memory of a Soul's biology, even after the Soul has left the Host. A completely unique circumstance in the universe, though it is a bit like the Shaleez in the Kalegley galaxy but no…not really – forget that. But! Isn't this exciting?" He asked the three of us.

"Uhmm….is is supposed to be?" The ginger girl asked. Wanderer just stared at him. Surely he didn't mean….

"Ah – you've got it," the Doctor pointed at her.

"What?" The man asked. "Got what?"

"What do you think Wanderer?" The Doctor asked her, though it was clear on his face he believed he knew the answer.

Wanderer shook her head. "That's impossible. We wouldn't be occupying so many planets if that were possible." She had to believe that. All those lives – the ones that had unfairly been taken without a thought, it couldn't have been for nothing.

"But it is Wanderer. It is. What is in the past has happened and there is no stopping that," he told her gently. "But it is _completely_ possible as long as you know how to use the imprint. And you are going to prove that."

Wanderer stared him. "How do you know that?" She asked, her voice a bit louder than her normal tones. "How do you _know_ it is possible, how do you think I can prove this, and _how_ do you know my _name_!"

"Souls don't yell Wanderer," the Doctor told her solemnly, making her freeze. No, Souls didn't yell or get angry at one another.

"So what?" the other man asked. "Is she not a Soul then?"

"How is she supposed to prove whatever she's supposed to prove if she isn't a Soul?" the woman asked, exasperated.

"Oh, she's a Soul alright," the Doctor said holding her gaze. Wanderer noticed that at some point she must've stood up, because she was standing only two feet from him. "She's a Soul, but she isn't alone, is she Melanie?"

Wanderer felt the breath leave her body. How did he know? How could he possibly know? Fords Deep Waters ran through her head, but she quickly dismissed it. There was no way he could've known for sure, and the Doctor definitely knew. There was no question in his gaze. Melanie had a cooler head, but was still unsettled by the turn of events.

"Who? Doctor, what are you talking about?" Ginger girl asked.

"Amy, I told you, when a Soul is implanted the human consciousness recedes, often leaving completely, but sometimes simply being silenced, stuffed into the corner of the brain where it can't interfere with the thoughts or actions of the Soul that has taken over the body," the Doctor explained. Cold settled into Wanderer's bones. Amy shouldn't need this explained to her "But," the Doctor continued. "Once in a while, usually only if the host sees it coming, the human consciousness sticks around, always present. If the Soul is weak they are able to take over the body once in a while, but if the Soul is strong, they are simply present. And you, Lives in the Stars, you are very strong, aren't you? But Melanie Stryder, she is very strong as well."

"So everyone else is lost," Amy verified, sounding both angry and sad.

"_She's human,"_ Melanie breathed.

_"They all are,"_ Wanderer silently corrected her.

"Yes," the Doctor told Amy. "Yes, nearly everyone with a Soul implanted in them is lost." He looked down his face very somber for a few moments. "But the human race, they are not lost," The Doctor said looking at Wanderer, at Melanie. "No, not lost. And these two are going to prove it."

"Will this really work?" Wanderer asked, daring to hope, daring to think that her greatest wish might be granted.

"Yes Wanderer," The Doctor said with a grin. "Now trust me, I'm The Doctor."


End file.
